4日間の集中講座でライティング5.5→7.5!

お正月休みを利用してインテンシブレッスンをご利用いただいていたT様とのレッスンが先ほど終了しました。

たった4日間でしたが、非常に内容の濃いレッスンとなりました。

受講初日に提出していただいたエッセイは、タスクの一部に答えていないなどスコア的には5.5(+さらに語数ペナルティーあり)前後の内容でした。

集中講座初日のエッセイ

In many countries, more and more men are staying at home to look after their children when women work full-time. What are the reasons? Is it a positive or negative development?

Recently, as education has become equally accessible both for men and women, it is increasingly becoming common that men take care of their children instead of woman. I believe that this is a completely positive trend.

Firstly, the society where more and more men are raising children is greatly beneficial from an educational aspect, especially for girls. In the past, it was very difficult for them to picture themselves working in the society because they were not able to see their mothers, who are their role models, taking part in the society instead of housekeeping. If their mothers are working, it enables them to imagine themselves working in the future more easily, which will encourage them to acquire skills and knowledge.

Secondly, the situation where more men raise children at home and more women work full time brings many benefits to the society as well. In such societies, women are more employed and companies will have more female workers and even executives. Those companies are able to offer services and products that are created from female points of view and thus women-friendly. If the number of such companies increases, the whole society will be more and more livable for women.

To sum up, it is not rare anymore that men take care of their children at home and women work in the society. This brings many benefits to children, as well as to the society as a whole. (238 words)



4日間のレッスンを通して、タスクに状況をしっかりイメージする練習、メインストリームのアイデアに気づく練習、アイデアを具体的に展開する練習、表現を大切にしてベストの表現を選択する練習、などを行いました。

集中レッスン最終日に書いていただいたエッセイは見違えるくらいレベルアップし、スコア的には7.5前後の内容となりました。1月、2月の試験が楽しみです。

集中講座最終日のエッセイ

Some people say success in a person’s life as an adult is the result of the way they were brought up by their parents. Do you agree or disagree?

Success in life is what people pursue in their adult life. Some people think that whether they can be successful in life is often affected by how they are raised by their parents. I agree with this view.

Firstly, parents have a great impact on whether or not children succeed in the future because childhood education is the key to success. In order to be successful in this competitive society, people are required to have specific skills and knowledge that differentiate themselves from others. For example, Hidetoshi Nakata, who is a Japanese soccer player, became one of the legendary soccer players in the world in 2005. His successful career was due mainly to his childhood where he was allowed to spend enormous amounts of time playing soccer, instead of studying.

Secondly, parents can instill self-esteem into children, which is a prerequisite to a successful person. In order to become a successful leader, people are required to believe in themselves because leaders are often exposed to criticism. This self-confidence enables them to make decisions based on their own belief, without being affected by generally accepted ideas. Steve Jobs became a prominent entrepreneur only because his parents taught him the importance of this quality all the time in his childhood.

To sum up, I believe that the way children are brought up is the major determinant for their future success in that only parents can decide what skills and knowledge their children are equipped with as well as what qualities they should have prior to adulthood. (254 words)